Song for the struggling

Another day, another way, to limp out this walk
Identified as God's light, but struggling with the dark
Fighting with my go-to's, this much determined flesh,
Heart bowed low confession, to straighten out this mess

Who turned out the light? Scraping for a prayer
Voices to accuse me, lies from everywhere!
I handed ammunition to the hater of my soul
Half truths leave me numb, and now they feel like whole

My tears fall onto the ground in a self inflicted rain
A voice says, 'time and time and time and time again!'
'These fractures are not healing', 'a son who can't do good'
'God must now reject me, I know for sure I would!'

But what is this, a memory of a boy who lost his way?
Took the contents of the safe and partied every day?
Ventured back to his home but someway down the path
His Father came to meet him and he expected wrath

The Father's joy was beaming, the son taken aback
Dad wrapped his arms around him not one word of his lack
Robes and ring, the best food, a very noisy celebration
Father goes the extra mile to mark this restoration

How can it be that I receive that which I do not merit?
While what I'm owed is judgement, but I just don't get it?
Can it be that all my wrongs are totally outshone
By Fathers unrelenting love and joy at His returning son?

This story is the truth for all who wholly trust
That Jesus took all God's wrath, for me He said He must
So when I fall and fail and choose me above my King
The Father wants me to come to him and tell him everything

With love and joy my Father cancels out my debt
This act of going to Him is how His plan was set
'Lost sons returning home' is the genius intent
To rescue me from me and why His own Son was sent

I'm not planning sinful ways but I know they will be true
The thing to understand is Father knows it too!
I'm starting out again with eyes on things above
My failings overshadowed by my Father's boundless love. 


Gary Ward